Forelsket

Forelsket (Norwegian): The indescribable euphoria experienced as one begins to fall in love

 

I have wanted love all my life.

At the age of five love came in the form of my parents. Love came in the form of my grandmother fussing over my hair. Love was my grandfather slipping me chocolates and coffee when he thought my mother wasn’t looking. Love was pure and innocent.

At the age twelve, love came in the form of dashing princes, valiant heroes who would rescue me from an ivory tower. Love was also the boy who laughed without a care in the world across the classroom. Love was still innocent and pure. Love was still a colourful, shiny feeling that had never hurt me. It was love, how could it?

At the age of fifteen, I had been burnt by love. Love had run away when he realised I loved him. But that hadn’t been love, I had assured myself. Love wasn’t cruel, I told myself at night.

At the age of sixteen, I thought I had found love. Love had come in the form of the boy who kissed me a little awkwardly for the first time. Love had been the way he remembered the little things. Love had been the way simple walks down a quiet road were magical. Love had been the way I could rely on him to stay after a fight. Love had been the way held me. Love was still pure, and innocent. Love was still the prince who had come to save me from the ivory tower, he just looked different.

At the age of seventeen, love left. I cried and screamed, but then I realised it was for the best. I also realised that love hadn’t really left. I realised that love still existed when my best friend hugged me a little tighter. I realised love had stuck around when my friends didn’t give up on me despite all my efforts to distance myself. I realised love had never left when my mother hugged me when she saw my red eyes after a night of crying.

I am still seventeen. Now, I know slightly better than to simply label infatuation as love. Now, I’m slightly hesitant to simply give myself up. But I would for you.

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